{"id":86,"date":"2013-02-15T20:13:35","date_gmt":"2013-02-15T20:13:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/2013\/02\/15\/a-game-of-thrones-genesis-part-one\/"},"modified":"2013-02-15T20:13:35","modified_gmt":"2013-02-15T20:13:35","slug":"a-game-of-thrones-genesis-part-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/2013\/02\/15\/a-game-of-thrones-genesis-part-one\/","title":{"rendered":"A Game of Thrones: Genesis (part one)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6starting with A <\/strong>Game of Thrones: Genesis. <\/p>\n

That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 not so alphabetical\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Look, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Steam\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fault, not mine.<\/p>\n

\"steamalphabet\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And Steam is the boss here, not me. So we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re starting with A GAME OF THRONES: GENESIS.<\/p>\n

\"agot_title\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Now, as far as I recall, GoT: Genesis is a real-time strategy game that chronicles the beginnings of Westeros, so back when the Targaryen\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s were still chomping on people with dragons and they were the first family of incest (Lannisters are such posers).<\/p>\n

Since this is a Game of Thrones (or Song of Ice and Fire) game, I have a feeling this is going to be complicated. Not just complicated, but mind-bogglingly complicated.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to start with the tutorials.<\/p>\n

Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s go!<\/p>\n

\"2013-02-07_00002\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Hrmm. Loading screen.<\/p>\n

What I like most about the loading screens is that each and every one of them likes to freeze my cursor, which makes me think the entire game has frozen. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a bold design decision, but the GoT\/SoIaF series does have long history of playing such mind games, so I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll call it a feature and move on.<\/p>\n

\"2013-02-07_00003\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Once the game finally loads, it looks like there are less options than I actually feared there might be. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve seen RTS games with tutorial windows that scroll right off the page. Still, I feel I shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let my guard down \u00e2\u20ac\u201c this is still GoT after all. I decide to learn about creating alliances first, since it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s at the top of the list.<\/p>\n

I am instantly greeted by Derek Jacobi, which I find very comforting. Surely, he won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lead me astray!<\/p>\n

\n\n\n\n
\"agot_derekjacobi\"<\/a><\/td>\n\n

\"derek<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table><\/div>\n

But just as I suspected, Derek Jacobi is a talker. As such, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not going to screencap everything. This is GoT, so everything is excessively convoluted. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m pretty sure there were at least six or seven dialogue boxes that explained walking. To be fair though, walking is tough\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"2013-02-07_00005\"<\/a><\/p>\n

In this world, everyone has been struck with a terrible case of the rickets, making walking both difficult, and painful. Their soft, soft bones means that they walk incredibly slowly. <\/strong>I think that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s why there were so many dialogue windows about walking \u00e2\u20ac\u201c to build up their confidence before they make their first, stumbling steps out into the world.<\/p>\n

My favourite part about this is that they haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t taught me about a fast-forward button yet, so I get to watch the little envoy take every excruciating step as he hobbles along. There is a fast-forward button, right?<\/font><\/p>\n

Anyway, at this point, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m learning about using envoys. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve hired an envoy, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m getting him to go to a neighbouring town to make an alliance with them. Making an alliance means I get to collect money from them, and I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t burn their town to the ground. I can burn towns to the ground, right?<\/font><\/p>\n

\"2013-02-07_00006\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Now we get to see an enemy envoy try to make an alliance at a town where I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve already made an alliance. The joke\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s on him though, because my envoy is still there, and look at them \u00e2\u20ac\u201c they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re wearing the same outfit. Who would be caught dead wearing exactly the same outfit in the same town? So he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going to have to go home and change because I was here first.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this means that now we get to wait while the enemy envoy walks over and then every so slowly turns around. At the very least, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m relieved to find that my foe has also been afflicted with rickets.<\/p>\n

\"2013-02-07_00007\"<\/a><\/p>\n

About two minutes pass between these two screenshots. I amuse myself by imagining the enemy envoy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s chagrin at arriving and seeing someone else in that super sweet robe and hat combo. He knew he should have gone with the full-length ball gown!<\/p>\n

A little while later, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll see me get a guy with a horse, which you would think would be faster. Unfortunately, the horse also has rickets.<\/p>\n

\"agot_brainrickets\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Sadly, Derek Jacobi has also caught rickets in his brain.<\/p>\n

Anyway, now that I know about the basics of making alliances with my envoy, my next step is to get a spy, so I can do sneaky spy things.<\/p>\n

But of course, since this is a GoT games, it can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be that simple. First, I have to pay the spy guild, so that they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m cool. Then, after a little while, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll let me know if a spy is available. Why do I need a spy? So I can see guardsmen in town. Because all of my other units have conditional blindness, apparently. Or they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re all giving town guardsmen the silent treatment, and they need the spy to act as a go-between and ask them to pass the butter or why they haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t done the laundry since it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s THEIR TURN.<\/p>\n

Really, the thing is, if you send in a unit other than a spy, and they have town guards, then you have to turn around and go all the way back home, and no one wants that, whatever the reason may be.<\/p>\n

So that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what spies are for.<\/p>\n

\"2013-02-07_00008\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s my spy snooping on those guardsmen. The other cool thing that spies can do is that if your rival has sent an envoy into a town and made an alliance, you can totally send your spy in to make a SUPER SEKRIT alliance and be SUPER SEKRIT BEST FRIENDS with the town. That means that they secretly send all their money to you, instead of your rival. So that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re gonna do, and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gonna be pretty rad.<\/p>\n

Of course, the problem is that my rival can totally do that to me, although I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know why any of my towns would want to be SEKRIT BEST FRIENDS with my rival when I have Derek Jacobi on my side. But whatever.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, when this happens, you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just raze the town, which is dumb (especially since I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m clearly playing the Targaryens and we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re supposed to have DRAGONS), instead you have to bribe the town with boobs. So I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll send in a noble lady to marry the town (yes, the whole town). <\/p>\n

I wish I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d gotten a screenshot, because her skill bar is the best. She has two options \u00e2\u20ac\u201c marry and seduce. Because that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what the ladies are for.<\/p>\n

So, anyway, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to hire a noble lady. <\/p>\n

\"2013-02-07_00010\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Apparently they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re just hanging out outside the local castle, waiting to be chosen for such a mission. Luckily, unlike the spy, they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a guild, so we can get them on the cheap. (Although, to be fair, Derek Jacobi does let me know that normally noble ladies can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be bought like this. I think he means you usually have to buy them dinner before hurling them at a neighbouring towns.)<\/p>\n

So I send my gal off and she marries the town. TUTORIAL COMPLETE!<\/p>\n

That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s one down! What have I learned?<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve learned that this game is probably unnecessarily complicated, which is going to make campaign mode a hoot.  <\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve learned that maybe it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a little foolish to be upset you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t raze a town during the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Making Alliances\u00e2\u20ac\u009d tutorial, and not to give up hope that that option may yet be available.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve also learned that Derek Jacobi is the most polite tutorial guide ever.<\/p>\n

\"agot_politejacobi\"<\/a><\/p>\n

That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right, he doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tell me to check the mini map, he invites <\/em>me too. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re such a gentleman, Derek Jacobi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6starting with A Game of Thrones: Genesis. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 not so alphabetical\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Look, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Steam\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fault, not mine. And Steam is the boss here, not me. So we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re starting with A GAME OF THRONES: GENESIS. Now, as far as I recall, GoT: Genesis is a real-time strategy game that chronicles the beginnings of Westeros, so back […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-86","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-games"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=86"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=86"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=86"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.silly-sara.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=86"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}